Halloween (2007)


First I must clarify that this is not a review of the original Halloween, which was near pefect. This is a review of Rob Zombie's far from perfect remake of Halloween. With that being said, who told Rob Zombie it was OK for him to direct movies? Bad! That's a bad Rob Zombie! Who told you it was OK to take a great movie and redo it with your own interpretation! You should be ashamed of yourself. Now let me explore the atrocity that is Halloween.
The movie reintroduces us to Michael Myers, part time psychopathic killer, part time mask maker. Unlike the first film that only included a 5 second clip of young Myers, we get to watch an entire hour of original material about him, thought up straight from Rob Zombie's twisted imagination. After living in a degenerate household with degenerate parents and a degenerate older sister, young Michael turns into the maniac that we've come to know and love. Well, at least before this movie was released.
We are then subjected to 45 minutes of uninteresting blather before we finally pick up to where the original film started. At last, we are introduced to Laurie Strode, played by Scout Taylor Compton, and her two friends, played by miscellaneous actresses who were probably cast for the sole reason of needing money and a willingness to be nude in front of a camera. We then get to watch basically the original Halloween only without the suspense, horror, character development, and excellent directing of the original. The suspense was replaced with sex, the horror was replaced with cheap scares, the character development was replaced with sex, and the great directing was replaced with Rob Zombie.
Some of you may feel I'm being unfair because I continually compare this film to the original. Well here's a sentence that describes this film just as a singular movie: This movie had poor directing, bad acting, no suspense, no scares, no characters worth caring about, and overall nothing redeeming whatsoever. Oh yea, Malcolm McDowell is in it too, because apparently his career has spiraled since A Clockwork Orange. My Rating (2/10)

4 comments:

  1. lmao at you scolding rob rombie like a dog who just did peed on the carpet.

    excelent review...as usual =]

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  2. I agree with this review, I think that rob zombie just crammed as many naked hoes and knives as possible into a set amount of time and then managed to get the rights to the halloween name and sell it.

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  3. Donald Pleasance is rolling over in his grave.

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  4. rob zombie should stick to music. my friend made this movie sound like as if a must-see. she even there was a lot of depth to it and symbolism =|? i highly doubted and you just proved my point. somethings should just be left alone like the original halloween

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Movies given a 10/10

  • Milk
  • In Bruges
  • Slumdog Millionaire
  • The Dark Knight
  • Iron Man
  • No Country For Old Men
  • The Shining
  • A Clockwork Orange